5 TIPS FOR CHALLENGING WORK DAYS: Rose-Colored Glasses. Put Them On.
Putting on rose-colored glasses was one of the best pieces of advice that a close family friend and mentor schooled me on while learning to navigate the corporate game (Thank you, Shelia).
Figuratively speaking, of course, because some environments and situations require this mindset in order to thrive and survive. In a literal sense, this simply means choosing to look at situations with a positive outlook—even if reality reflects otherwise. This should be simple to do within the context of an 8-hour workday. Realistically, I know that it’s not always easy, but I believe that happiness truly is a choice--and that choice is often contingent upon one's current state of mind.
Maybe your career journey has been a crystal stair and you just. can’t. relate. Keep reading, if, like me, you’ve had to keep the figurative glasses near at various stages.
How to keep your rose-colored glasses from getting foggy
What I’ve learned over the years is that you have to find ways to remind yourself to stay focused when your current situation is less than ideal—and oftentimes this comes down to perspective. If adulting has taught me nothing else, it has reminded me over and over again that how you view things and the stories you tell yourself can have a direct effect on inner peace. While we can’t control some external forces, we can certainly protect our energy and guard our peace. With that said, below are five strategies that I’ve created for myself and had to employ at some point to self-motivate and make it through many a day.
#1 - REMEMBER WHY YOU’RE THERE
Your “why” may be very different from someone else’s, so taking a step back to remind yourself what excited you about the job once upon a time can do wonders to reframe the conversation in your head. For some, it may be the kind of work that you’ve always wanted to do, your boss or colleagues may be amazing, your commute is hassle-free, you have flexibility and job autonomy, the hours are less brutal than your last role and it doesn't require as much travel, you’ve escaped a toxic work environment, or you just may be at a point in life where doing the bare minimum suits your preference. For others, the why may be more tangible: The money is good and the paycheck provides access to travel, private schools, dream homes, dreams unfulfilled and resources that otherwise wouldn’t be available. Whatever the reason—name it and keep it front and center.
#2 - DROWN THE NOISE
In your head and the noise around you. Keeping company with people who have a bleak outlook on your workplace can be a distraction. It really is true in some (not all) cases that misery loves company. Your discontent might be at a 5 (on a scale from 1-10) while theirs has tipped the scale at 10+. People often have very legitimate reasons for dissatisfaction, and sometimes it's validating when they know that you understand and are genuinely empathetic to their plight. That's not what I'm talking about here. While we all occasionally need a safe space to vent about the frustrations of our day, be mindful of who you're talking to and what you’re sharing. All concern is not genuine concern. As someone who values trust and loyalty, I've definitely learned to distinguish the difference. On the flip side, it's not always unhappy colleagues that pose distractions. Others can be friendly and optimistic but unable to hold water. Translation: They repeat everything they hear—sometimes innocently and sometimes methodically. If I have to question which is which, that's enough of a red flag for me to keep the conversation friendly….then keep it moving.
#3 - KEEP THE MAIN THING THE MAIN THING
I learned this from a VP that I once worked for whom I very much respected. He had an amazing presence—charismatic, self-assured, knowledgeable. He commanded attention and garnered genuine respect (and not because of his title). He had an amazing way of motivating the team—even when under pressure—and would remind us to stay focused on what really mattered. I’ve carried this mantra in my professional toolkit, and keep it front and center in my day as a gentle reminder when challenged by difficult situations, peculiar personalities, burnout or low morale.
#4 - WHEN PEOPLE SHOW YOU WHO THEY ARE, BELIEVE THEM…
James Baldwin said it best (for different reasons, perhaps), but the following quote is so befitting of the kind of real-life scenario where people will really go about their day as if you are not aware of the goings on: “I can’t believe what you say because I see what you do.” This is a hard one. Even harder if you’re someone who thinks before reacting. Maybe not so hard for those who have no problem calling people on their BS. I admit that sometimes I’ve done the silent clap for those who, like my dearly departed grandmother, can rip you to shreds with a little honey on top so you’re not quite sure if it was “a read,” or if it’s all in love. [But just know that if the conversation ends with them saying “Bless your heart….,” it was probably the former.] While conversations in a professional environment are a bit more diplomatic, knowing who you’re dealing with can empower you to decide whether certain situations are worthy of your energy. I follow my gut intuition on people because that feeling deep down inside has never failed me—even when I chose to ignore it.
Sometimes well-meaning (or not) people will tell you that what you’ve observed or may be feeling isn’t real because they are either blind to behaviors, not close to the situation or they simply choose to overlook the behavior because they benefit in some way and it doesn’t directly impact their job. Gaslighting is real.
“I can’t believe what you say because I see what you do.”
#5 - LET IT GO
Of yesterday, that is. I can remember many times when, like a movie reel, I’ve replayed moments that left me bruised and confused. Questioning why someone would do xyz, analyzing what I could have done different or concluding that, unfortunately, things would always be the same. Letting go is undoubtedly challenging for people who care and want to see the best in others, yet necessary to keep one’s head in the game. Not letting go can lead to you waking up some days no longer recognizing who the heck you are because negative emotions have taken over. Days can lead to months and months into years. That’s an awful price to pay for peace of mind—especially if you’re no longer able to discern why your “why” really matters, what voices you should give credence to, who is and isn’t real or in your corner and what the main thing really is. As a woman of strong faith, I’ve also learned that you just have to give some things over to God and keep your spiritual toolkit near.
converse + connect
If you can relate to any of this, how have you learned to keep your “glasses” from getting foggy (or what lessons did you learn along the way if you’ve been there, done that…and over it)?
Comment below (and share with others) if you found these tips helpful.